The smallest steps lead to the biggest changes

The Male Agenda


(+ £2.00 Postage)

Here's what a reader said about it on Amazon in May 2015:

"Even though this book is aimed at men, it's a brilliant read for women too! My partner loved it SO much, that he bought 2 more copies to give to each of his sons! Definitely a book that every guy should read to help them understand themselves!" 

About The Male Agenda 

The world is full of men chasing that elusive something – the dream that will somehow make everything alright.

Does it really exist?

The Male Agenda challenges the reader who is struggling to make sense of life to accept compromise no longer. Creating change can be a challenging concept - even frightening. This book makes it exciting and achievable through real life stories and practical ‘self help’ tools.

Spread through word of mouth so far - national distribution achieved recently and also chosen for distribution throughout all the UK's prison libraries to inspire inmates into making positive life choices.

Chapter Headings

  • What does a man need?
  • What goes on inside a man?
  • The power of thought
  • What does success mean to you?
  • Selling the present for an illusory future
  • The need for balanced information (news)
  • Helping Lust to be come love
  • Creating time
  • Addictive behaviour
  • Letting go of attachments
  • Acceptance, trust and the release of guilt
  • Everything I always wanted except happiness
  • Fatherhood
  • Men and death
  • Working together (men and women)
  • Tool Kit
  • Afterword


Chapter 4 - Success

There is nothing wrong with wealth and power. Great things can be achieved with them; great enjoyment can be had as a result of having them. But I question whether they can benefit us fully if we have sacrificed our happiness, health or peace of mind to get them. We need to look for balance between material wealth and mental and physical well-being – they do not need to be mutually exclusive.

We strive for success, but why? What are we going to do with it if we ever feel we’ve got it? Ask yourself that question before you set off on the next rung of the career ladder? What are you doing? Something you really want to, or something that you feel you have to or should? Why are you doing it? Because it brings you great satisfaction at both a mental/emotional and physical/material level, or purely because it pays the bills? Who are you doing it all for? You or everybody else? And if you really want to help everybody else, is it not possible that you might do this best by becoming clearer yourself in what your definition of success really is?

Chapter 5- Time 

So manic have we become that our whole life tends to revolve around schedules. Schedules that very often we are merely playing a part in rather than taking hold of and saying “Hey, hang on a second, this is my life, I want to have a say in what happens and when”. We may have come so far down this path, that most of us no longer realise that we have any say in how our time is filled.
I would suggest that nothing could be further from the truth.

Our time is our own. Our life is our own. Only we ourselves can make our decisions. Believe it or not, we have chosen our schedules as they exist at the moment and only we can choose to change them.

Chapter 7 - The Sex Chapter

Instead of using pornography as a vehicle through which we are able to let off steam sexually, let us look to partners for help and support in enabling us to blossom sexually. Let us share our feelings, desires and urges with another who cares for us. And in that sharing let us discover a whole new level of enjoyment and pleasure that will put into perspective the difference between enjoyment of the part and enjoyment of the whole.

Let us discuss our worries and problems together; let us view beautiful images together; let us share erotic tales and fantasies together. But let us view in love; let us share in love; let us love in joy. Let us unite ourselves through our sharing and thereby free ourselves to welcome in a whole new dawn in male sexuality.


"Brilliant! Every page offers such good insights, stories and questions. If you dream of a better life, then this book will help you live out your dreams." Robert Holden (founder of The Happiness Project and best selling author of Happiness Now! and Shift Happens!)

"The Male Agenda made me think deeply about my life in ways that brought about both conceptual and practical changes. A rewarding read, thank you Barry". Steve Biddulph (best selling author and family psychologist).

"The Male Agenda is extremely cogent and wise. I particularly liked the practical bits in it – the tool kit, the wand, the mirror of forgiveness. Why isn’t it with a big publisher? Its not like the market is overflowing with books on men’s issues – especially not ones this good."
Martin Wenner (Actor).

"I like the book very much and am sure it will be very useful to many men who have begun to grapple with some of the challenges of being a man. I wish Barry and The Male Agenda huge success.” Dr William Bloom (co-founder of London's "Alternatives Programme", faculty member of Findhorn Foundation for over 25 years and author of many books including "The Endorphin Effect")

"I feel it ought to be standard reading for every man, and every woman who lives with a man." (D.S. London)

"This book gave me ideas as to how to improve my relationships with the men in my life – including my dad who left home when I was 14. Thank you". (Female pa, 20’s)

"Every artist was first an amateur"

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sophie Janes

You can keep up to date with all the latest Sophie Janes news, videos, releases etc via her facebook page or on her website



Barry & Winnie Durdant-Hollamby have been coaching people through crises and processes of change for nearly 20 years. Specialising in relationship work and personal transformation, they have applied their methodologies in both individual and organisational settings.  

AVAILABLE VIA 1-1 in their consulting room in East Sussex, or across the world via EMAIL or PHONE. SEE 'COACHING SESSIONS' in SHOP (above) for more details.


Our Ethos

The smallest steps lead to the biggest changes; to us that means every single order, of whatever size,  contains the potential to change the world.

We, the partners in The Art of Change, try to deal with every order within 24 hours,  hand pack them all ourselves and even deliver them to our local post office.

If you do have a question about your order you can call us and, unless we're busy, you'll get a real person to talk to. Leave a message and we'll even call you back. Promise...